A short, but relevant prayer.

Psalm 138:8 (The Message)

"Finish what you started in me, God.
Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now."

Sometimes it's difficult to continue to desire to do good. Not even that you want to do blatant evil, you just feel tired of doing good,-like the blood, sweat, and tears is not worth it or getting you anywhere. At least, I've felt that way this year. This has been one of the most exhausting years of my life. I was talking to Joseph who said, "..someone said, you are a light, you need to just shine, no matter how much, -you just do it." I sighed a little bit and replied, "I'm a tired little light." I've been demanding with God lately, saying, "God, I've endured so much this year, I'm tired, where are my blessings? Where are my rewards? It's like you're giving them to me one moment and the next you take it away! I'm tired! Just give it to me! Give me stability and happiness for more than just one day!"

I know it doesn't work that way, though. As I vented to Joseph about it, he said, "I really think during this time, God is trying to teach you to go to Him." And ya know what? He's exactly right. I know what I need to be doing, but it's a process of getting there. God's working on my hard, stubborn, hurt heart. He is my Father and I am the resistant child,-I want to stay in a certain place, but He has me by the hand and is slowly pulling me in the direction He desires, and knows deep down that is what I desire. It is what I desire,--HE is what I desire.

I'm still alive, I swear!

Life's been crazy busy!

Just got back recently from California (as you saw :D) and getting ready to head out to Nashville for my sister's orientation at Belmont and another wedding. I hate weddings, to be honest. I will only like mine and my wedding will be short...I'll have things to do! Hahaha

But seriously, things are going well. Things with Joseph are great. I should probably just wait to explain it to you all by the time Fall comes, but basically the Lord is working amazingly in his life and if he were the same person I wouldn't be around, but he is becoming an amazing man of God in what seems like such a short time, but God is using him for good, and honestly bringing me only closer to the Lord (as it should be, and vice versa). My faith has been only strengthened and I have only felt encouraged by him. He came into this summer with the intention to bless me, and he has. He's being so mature and honestly, manly, haha so I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store, all the while doing my best to guard my heart. (We aren't dating, btw)

God knows, and He knows best, I don't need to worry about the details but just keep moving my feet forward and seeking Him.

Love you and miss you all! <3