I got really upset when I heard about it being legit. You'd think it'd be the typical girl jealousy, but it's not. It's different. This girl isn't a horrible person, but she openly admitted to sleeping around, even told Joseph (they're friends) that she was doing so much sexually that she just became numb to it. WHY IS SHE GETTING MARRIED? Much more before me. I haven't slept around, God! I haven't had STDs or any pregnancy scares. I haven't had sexual intercourse at all, come to think of it. WHY can I not get what I want?
Again, Joseph is friends with her (and again, I am not trying to sound judgmental although I suppose it's slightly unavoidable. I think she is a sweet girl and wish her the best)...anyways, he got back from hanging out with her and started texting me. He felt exactly the same way. He was really bummed out. Sometimes it just gets so freaking EXHAUSTING to do good, especially when you are not seeing the effects of it right away. It's only human to say, "where are my rewards, God?" right? Right. King David, a man after God's own heart did!
I love Psalms. And not just because it makes for good devotions or looks good on Christian paraphernalia, but because it's REAL. Real emotion, real problems, and depicts the real struggle in seeking Goodness. I gave a pep talk to Joseph (and myself) and when I felt like he was too tired to listen and I was too incapable of producing sensible sentences, I just went to the Word. I always somehow subtly try to avoid it and yet it is the exact healing I need, every time. Boy, are we dumb sheep. Or at least I am. God loves me anyway, or especially!?
As I began reading, I came to Psalm 19, and it encouraged me immensely. I was smiling by the end of it! God is GOOD! And He listens and yes, blesses,-but on His timing! We just gotta trust Him, continually.
"God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him." -Psalm 18:20
Psalm 19 (The Message)
1-2 God's glory is on tour in the skies, God-craft on exhibit across the horizon.
Madame Day holds classes every morning,
Professor Night lectures each evening.
3-4 Their words aren't heard,
their voices aren't recorded,
But their silence fills the earth:
unspoken truth is spoken everywhere.
4-5 God makes a huge dome
for the sun—a superdome!
The morning sun's a new husband
leaping from his honeymoon bed,
The daybreaking sun an athlete
racing to the tape.
6 That's how God's Word vaults across the skies
from sunrise to sunset,
Melting ice, scorching deserts,
warming hearts to faith.
7-9 The revelation of God is whole
and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear
and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,
showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain
and easy on the eyes.
God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate
down to the nth degree.
10 God's Word is better than a diamond,
better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You'll like it better than strawberries in spring,
better than red, ripe strawberries.
11-14 There's more: God's Word warns us of danger
and directs us to hidden treasure.
Otherwise how will we find our way?
Or know when we play the fool?
Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh!
Keep me from stupid sins,
from thinking I can take over your work;
Then I can start this day sun-washed,
scrubbed clean of the grime of sin.
These are the words in my mouth;
these are what I chew on and pray.
Accept them when I place them
on the morning altar,
O God, my Altar-Rock,
God, Priest-of-My-Altar
Birdy, thanks for sharing. I know of several similar situations, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't know exactly what you meant. But God always brings it back to me that His timing IS perfect...and he would never want us to have second best.
ReplyDeletethanks for the passage. so beautiful...and encouraging. :)