Psalm 138:8 (The Message)
"Finish what you started in me, God.
Your love is eternal—don't quit on me now."
Sometimes it's difficult to continue to desire to do good. Not even that you want to do blatant evil, you just feel tired of doing good,-like the blood, sweat, and tears is not worth it or getting you anywhere. At least, I've felt that way this year. This has been one of the most exhausting years of my life. I was talking to Joseph who said, "..someone said, you are a light, you need to just shine, no matter how much, -you just do it." I sighed a little bit and replied, "I'm a tired little light." I've been demanding with God lately, saying, "God, I've endured so much this year, I'm tired, where are my blessings? Where are my rewards? It's like you're giving them to me one moment and the next you take it away! I'm tired! Just give it to me! Give me stability and happiness for more than just one day!"
I know it doesn't work that way, though. As I vented to Joseph about it, he said, "I really think during this time, God is trying to teach you to go to Him." And ya know what? He's exactly right. I know what I need to be doing, but it's a process of getting there. God's working on my hard, stubborn, hurt heart. He is my Father and I am the resistant child,-I want to stay in a certain place, but He has me by the hand and is slowly pulling me in the direction He desires, and knows deep down that is what I desire. It is what I desire,--HE is what I desire.
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Aubrey,
ReplyDeleteOh how I can relate to that exhaustion. There have been times in my walk with the Lord where I have experienced such great passion and growth and desire for God, and other times where I am so spiritually drained that I can't even remember what it felt like to experience those things and I don't know if I have it in me to keep trying.
A few years ago during one of those times, God spoke the words of Philippians 1:6 to my heart. It says that "He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it". It has been God's promise to me ever since, and a constant reminder that no matter where I'm at; weak or strong, on a mountain top or in a valley, He is still at work in me. So many times that promise has been what keeps me going.
Lately God has been reminding me of that once again, and it is my prayer for you that you find the same encouragement in that promise. God has started a work in you, Birdy, and He will remain faithful to continue it daily.
I love you. I miss you. I am praying for you and with you.